I'm having a ball down on Grand CAY-MAN (rhymes with GAY MAN). I started working on my tan yesterday by the pool. Eleni and I went out last night and found Hammerheads, a nice little bar on the water. We sat down and ordered two sapphire and tonics, which had already been paid for by some dude down the bar. The bartender, Phil, started making shots, and kept the drinks coming, though we weren't asking for them or paying for them. The dj on the radio gave us a welcoming shout out--though she mistakenly called Eleni "Ayana." We were having a ball. We were the center of attention with boys hanging on our every word, fascinated with our wild tales, mesmerized by our outrageous lifestyles, asking us to go out on their boat the next day to tour the island, sunbathe, and go snorkeling. Later in the evening the dj showed up and we all rolled over to a club and got in with the dj chick. It was like a fabulous dream...
Then I vomited. In the bushes. It wasn't Phil handing over free drinks, or the fact that I had sampled half the bar, or the heat that caused me to vomit... I'm blaming it on the Hopia Baboy AND Eleni. I'm getting too old for this kind of nonsense.
To back it up a bit, earlier we were sitting by the pool and saw a bag of snacks on the table. I wondered who had left their Hopia Baboy--cute, yet suspicious, little treats. There was some note on them saying they were "FOR EDUARDO." Eleni figured they had been out there for a while, and that Eduardo wasn't coming for them. She wanted one. So she took two packages, ripped them open and talked me into trying one. Not so bad. Then I discovered that the package clearly stated that they should be refrigerated, frozen even. I'd been poisoned by my best friend. I still hear her in my mind, "I want to try the melon."
When we got home from the club Eleni was fine--drunk, but completely content on the couch eating a bag of nachos with green salsa and watching Pi on tv. I took a shower and thought dreamily about sugarmonk playing and dancing it up in Baltimore. Then I passed out. Posioned.