Friday, August 26, 2005

he, he, hello!

Hello Bangkok!
Nice to meet you. You are so funny and delightful. I really dig your style. My goodness, you are hot. Mmmmm... you taste good, too. Have I met you before? Or was it just someone like you? No, no, couldn't have been. BUT, I know I have dreamed of you. fabulous. Just fabulous, what will you teach me?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005


A two day party on the beach? Sounds good to me.

It was a beautiful day.
The heat finally broke, the sky was blue (IN SEOUL), and I was feeling fabulous. Paul, Victoria, and I hopped over to the other side of the river to catch a chartered bus. Beer in hand, I arrived ready to have a good time. After a few snacks (and a ride on a horse with a banana milk for Mr. Giles), we boarded the bus.

It included all the things one would need for a 4-hour bus ride: tacky interior featuring glittery blue dolphins, frat boys from Canada with matching couple bandannas equipped with a liter of soju, and super icy cold air con. After an hour and a half, annoying frat boy1 had to pee so bad he was getting ready to go in an empty Hite can. We took a 20 minute pause at a rest stop and I discovered the cutest mini-toilet set up for kids in the bathroom. As a side note: I'm truly impressed with the cleanliness of some public bathrooms in Korea. Bathrooms in bars and clubs still carry the same nastiness of most cities I've encountered, and in the country you could be ass out hovering over a hole in the ground, but many public bathrooms are surprisingly clean in Seoul and beyond.

It started to rain. It took 4 hours to get there. I had no idea where in the world I was. I was surrounded by English teachers. We were there to party, get sandy, drink and dance. The festivities were already in progress as we arrived. There were English speakers all around, people with style, Koreans with dreads, fire dancers, fireworks, bonfires... there were hot dogs. Not that I ate any hot dogs, but they were there too. There were hot dogs, and even some hot people. I walked around wondering who was going to be first to play with my nipples.

This guy, Paul, made his pants. Really. I may have said it before, but it's worth saying again, I love a boy who has a sewing machine and knows how to use it. He was nippleplay worthy, but I didn't get around to it.

Here's Correy with his nipple Chantelle. Correy was afraid that if his girlfriend didn't show up soon he was going to get himself into trouble. Then I came along and asked him if he'd like to play with my nipples. Right now I'm giggling.

Here's Mehdi, a nipplehead, wearing Nuff (meaning belly button in Persian). This dude was real cool and showed me some great video footage of his fun little world. He has just done a bit of a mini-documentary on men who shave their balls. [SHAVE YOUR BALLS.]

This is Chris, with Fruity. Chris writes. That's cool.

This dude is an actor. He serenaded me in Korean, picked me up on his back and kept asking Paul if he was a lesbian. What a character. He named his nipple Magic Box.

It stopped raining, then it would start again. I didn't care. I was having a good time. At about midnight, they threw on some hot tunes I hadn't heard in a minute as I was walking out on the ocean. I should say where the ocean should have been but the tide was out--way out. I walked for about ten minutes before I reached the water. Under the full moon, alone out there, barefoot with my umbrella, I DANCED. And when I say I danced, I mean DANCED. I danced like the way you might in your house, with no one around, the shades drawn (possibly even in the basement), in your underwear to your absolute favorite song of the moment as loud as you want it. It was a real moment. I was just there.

Around two in the morning. It got wet, and I got cold, and the mosquitoes started to irritate me, and I felt sandy. I was uncomfortable and I wanted a shower. The only way to keep warm was to keep on dancing. So I kept on dancing. A little while later, all the sudden I saw that the tide seemed to be creeping up awfully quickly. I said "Hello sea! Nice to see you." And it was cool, but then the next thing I knew one of the sets of speakers was submerged and the tide rapidly approached and eventually completely took over the party.

CHAOS. Move everything. EVERYTHING including the tents the bar, the two dj booths, the speakers, the light stands. Everyone's stuff. At some point in the confusion I lost my flip flops. So did Victoria, so did Paul. Chincha? Really.

Victoria before the party.

Me around 5 AM.

We trashed the beach. That wasn't cool. The people all chilled out a bit and a couple people kept the party going as the sun came up.

We climbed back on the bus around 6ish, shoeless and gross. Everyone on that bus was DIRTY, in more ways than one would imagine. It was a rough ride home, and I'm still not sure if it was a great party, but it was a lot of fun at certain points in the evening.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Shaped like corn, filled with custard goo.
Oh delimanjoo, though you smell like heaven,
you make me feel like poo.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Sunday, August 14, 2005


Took the subway for an hour, made three transfers. I got off in the middle of nowhere, to take another train for an hour and 40 minutes. I got off at the last stop. If the train kept going a little bit I would have been in North Korea. Then I hiked for about an hour, sweating my brains out, and finally found what I went all that way for:

The water was freezing, it was getting dark, but it was a fantastic time. The hike back down the mountain in the dark... that's a different story.

Saturday, August 13, 2005


with her new nipples, nipilicious and cherry goodness.

play with my nipples.
pick the one you like. name it. let me take a picture of you.

see the slideshow for more nippleplay.

you wanna play with my nipples too? email me.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


I've been stumbling a lot lately and I come across fantastic stuff. One was notable enough to share. I love this project, I could sit and read these awesome postcards with secrets, one after the next, over and over, amused and amazed, till hours way past my bedtime.

a few of my favorite things

A big mess of clay, yarn, nice tools, beads, little boxes, paper, and glue. Sitting on the floor, surrounded by these little joys, I'm quite content. I don't want to clean up. I need a studio.

My projects are coming along, though I did melt a batch of little egg shaped sculptures, made of some kind of polymer clay, in my toaster. After I scraped the eggs, which had turned into pancakes, off the metal tray I decided that from now on I'll get instructions for art materials translated. Whoops.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

old mr. johnson

ancient dildos

An unexpected find at the antinque market in Insadong: ancient dildos

more about ancient phalluses

PS. The last link goes to the The Icelandic Phallological Museum As they note on their site, it is probably the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammal found in a single country. They also have a long list of members. I'm not even joking.

Friday, August 05, 2005


In a recent email from my mother:

Today's Inquirer reports the first cloning of a dog to have occurred at
Seoul National University. The success of this very delicate and
intricate transfer of DNA material on the cellular level is attributed
to the "Korean tradition of using steel chopsticks to eat food."

The Inquirer also said it was only 82 degrees in Seoul yesterday. Oye vey, what a mekhaye. But I bet it was humid.


(me-KHY-ye) n. Joy; delight; particularly delicious; great enjoyment; real joy; (dinner was a great ~); rapture; also: a great feeling, a relief, like taking off your shoes after an all-day hike.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


dick socks

I lean over to itch a mosquito bite on my leg, exposing my red pepper socks. The group of girls sitting near me ooo and ahhh, saying they are cute. One boy across the room blurts out pyonte, pervert, for the girls on the other side of the room to hear. Strange. I know what that means. Even stranger, I know why he said this. The Korean word for pepper is gochu, the same word used to say penis. So I'm wearing penis socks and he thought it would be hilarious to make a joke, one that he assumed I wouldn't understand, and so I threw him out of my class. I need to learn more bad words.