Sunday, June 26, 2005

yesterday, today, tomorrow

Today is the Pride Parade in NYC. I've been going for years and this will be the first in a while I'm going to miss. Tomorrow marks 6 months that I've been in Korea. A week from today I turn 26.

I've had a fantastic year. 25 was filled with so many great things. Last year I got on a plane and went west for my birthday. I decided I wanted adventure, and I went for it. In 25: I got lost in Denver, lost my glasses, lost my camera, decided I hated L.A., but I loved San Fran. I went to Toronto, saw Niagara Falls, moved from Brooklyn to Philly, to Seoul. I let go of old tainted love, then briefly found love again, and then lost love (again). I made the same mistakes I've made before and made a whole bunch of new ones, but I learned this year. I made some choices about where I want to be. I quit some bad habits and picked up new ones. And most of all I was okay with all of that. I feel that I've accomplished something this year and I want to keep moving along in this direction.

For 26, I want to continue to see this all as an escapade. Additionally, I want to be able to love more freely. I want to let go of some of my fears--my fear of a disappointing future, my fear of getting hurt, my fear of failure, my fear of disapproval. If I can move past these things I'm sure that I'll feel growth, see more places, understand more, and connect with more people. I'll let myself love and love and love again.

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