As I was saying my goodbyes to my mother on the phone today, her last interjecting line was "Be careful crossing the street!" She really does tell me this, all the time. When I was little it was "Don't walk in front of the swing." Lately, my hilarious Jewish mother has been sending me emails that deserve to be shared.
On Feb 12th:
Hey here is an interesting gem of info. On NPR Radio I heard today that some academic historians (U of Mass.) are researching and trying to gain evidence that Abraham Lincoln was gay, or at least bisexual. I find the possibility fascinating. I looked at a picture of him today. I agree, he is gay.
On April 25th:
Dad saw Mr. Oh walking down the street in Philadelphia, trying to pass the gallery without stopping. Dad ran him down like a criminal. Dad calls out, "Mr. Ho! Mr. Ho...oh no, Mr. Oh." They are meeting on May 3 to discuss everything. Mr. Oh thinks you are delightful.
**Note: I've never met Mr. Ho, I mean Mr. Oh.
On June 2nd the email (without a subject) in its entirety read:
Are you still alive?
Miss Koco does Korea, and Mom does Toronto:
So I decided to venture out on my own tonight, it is Gia's last night in town, so she is off with the boyfriend Brendon...nice guy, from Jamaica...so I scoped out the map, made my plan, got myself to this massive mall, called Yorkdale. It looked like everyone in Toronto was there. I decided on a movie, The Interpreter, with Nicole Kidman (you know, I don't like her but she has been dating Lenny Kravitz, so now she is cool), and I get to the movie theater, and there was a fire earlier and they closed down the theater! Everyone in Toronto, all 8 million of them, were there trying to get into the theater to figure out why it was closed. I decided to then take the subway into town. But I had to pee, didn't have a coat (it is 44 degrees here), my leg hurt and I didn't have change for the subway. So I went to the liquor store, got a bottle of Pinot Noir, and went back to the hotel to watch Spanglish on the TV. Oh well. I did enjoy that massive mall I went to. It was like all of Toronto was there. One conversation I overheard was, "Mom, this place is like the airport."
**Notice the repetition. I wonder... were there a lot of people at the mall?
What can I say? I laugh out loud all the time. I guess I'm a lucky girl to have a mom as crazy as I am.